P is for PPD

I’ve never officially been diagnosed with Postpartum Depression, probably because I hate doctors and am afraid of the side affects associated with most medications.
Needless to say I never talked to my doctor about this. But I certainly believe I do in fact suffer from PPD. The first 6 weeks was hard but I’m sure no harder than any other first time mommy’s experience so I never gave it a second thought. I wasn’t concerned about my new found sadness until I was about 3 months postpartum and still in a slump.
I was so angry with myself for being sad about having the privilege of having a beautiful, healthy, perfect child. How could I be sad about that?
I was so ashamed of myself for not being happy about my new life as a mommy that I walked around with a fake smile and when I couldn’t I would just blame it on lack of sleep.
I would lay in bed at night crying cause I couldn’t understand why I hated my life so much.
Eventually this ended, at least for a while. Every time my hormones shifted (certain times of the month) I would find myself sinking back into a hole of despair, I didn’t want to be around anybody, I couldn’t talk to anybody without wanting to bite their head off and I felt like I would never amount to anything but then the next day everything would go right back to normal.
After a few dozen fights with Brad about my mood we did some research on PPD. I finally swallowed my pride and admitted to myself that I had a problem. Still hating medication and doctors, I had to find new methods of tackling this for the sake of my family’s sanity.
I started making myself go on walks. The fresh air and sunshine that I would get from a 20 minute walk would perk me up. I would suddenly remember how great my life really was, how loved I was. My most recent down period lasted about 36 hours. That’s more than I would like but less than before. I’ve started taking a Vitamin D supplement and continue to go on my walks everyday. Now all I can do is hope that next month will be better. I’m not ashamed anymore. I know now that it’s ok to not be ok and that I have friends and family that can support me.

This is what worked for me and these results aren’t typical. If you think you may be suffering from Postpartum Depression, please talk to your health care provider so you can discuss a treatment that will work for you. For more information you can visit Postpartum Progress for a list of possible symptoms and resources.

Did you or someone you know suffer from PPD?
What techniques were used to tackle it?


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